I've really been in a funk since Roomie has moved out. It's the emptiness. I'm alone in an enormous house full of empty rooms. That has got to play on anybody's psyche. At least, I am aware of why I am feeling this way and not giving into my feelings of sadness.
Today, I drew this for my art class and I was all like: "Wow, hello dark side! Glad to see you're still in tact!! I love you!!"
I've been thinking about Minute Man a lot, naturally, given my recent state of loneliness. He was supposed to come over today and fix something that was broken in the house. He offered and I accepted knowing full well he could not be depended on - and lo and behold he was a no show!! Imagine that!!
I have to laugh. I am so glad I can see the humor in the situation. It's funny because nearly every time I give him a chance to impress me, he lets me down. Funny how life has a way of reminding us of the lessons we have already supposed to have learned!!
I will either fix it myself or have Shrek fix it for me when he returns. It's really not a big deal.
I am actually grateful that happened because the last thing I need right now is Minute Man rushing to my rescue. It was a perfect little reminder of why I am where I am and everything is exactly as it is supposed to be.
Like the roots of this old tree, some things take a strong hold and cannot be easily shaken. Regardless of what changes have recently blown in, my feet are still planted firmly on the ground.
It's beautiful, but I don't see it as "dark." It's the skeleton, what's underneath all the frou-frou, the roots. It looks pretty sturdy to me.
ReplyDeleteThanks Suz! I know I am strong, but sometimes I need to be reminded.
DeleteLove this analogy. :) I also had my ex-husband promise to do many things in my home (really early on) only to have him either not show or screw it all up. After about six months, I found You tube and fixed it myself. :)
ReplyDeleteIt was a gloomy day today, wasn't it? My friend and I switched kids (I took one of hers, and she one of mine) and mostly I sewed all day. Not that I minded it, but by 7pm, when I still wasn't done, I was in the worst mood. I'm blaming it on the weather.
He did eventually show up and fixed the lock. Some of his things are still here so I'm sure he wanted to ensure his belongings were secure.
DeleteI will have to check out Youtube as there are a lot of other things around here that need fixing! Thanks for the tip!
The fact you can find humor in the failing is a HUGE step in the right direction. That drawing is awesome. Dark mood or not, it's great. That's what got Van Gogh where he is. So all you have to do is get so dark you tear into your own ear, then, fame. Simple.
ReplyDeleteUmmm. *Note to Self: Never ever ever take advice from Pickelope*
DeleteLove the art. I love trees.
ReplyDeleteIsn't is strange how women do that? Set up those moments where they can be the person we so desperately want them to be, knowing they just won't be, all at the same time.
I'm glad you can take it all with humor and grace and ultimately understanding.
Much much love to you.
Yep. Obviously I've set my expectations so low it's virtually impossible to be disappointed now! Yay me!
DeleteHas to be the gloomy weather, i was missing my husband last night. I realized i was angry that he never tried to prove to me that I'm what he wanted when i left. I know he said he loved me, but why wasn't he here trying to prove to me and everybody that he did. Why couldnt he make an effort? I guess our decisions are right in the end, just need to accept all the feelings that goes with them.
ReplyDeleteHello Sparrow. I love you! Actions definitely speak louder than words and we both know what it is like to have not gotten those actions that we so desperately needed to save our marriages. I'm glad we at least have each other! Sometimes things have a way of evening out.
Deleteyou are working through it. one day at a time. it apparently takes a lot of days! totally agree on it being helpful to have MM continue to let you down and remind you of why you are where you are.
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, it really is funny after a while - and I'm glad I can laugh about it!!
DeleteOOhhh, I like the tree.
ReplyDeleteAnd, like you, I think the no show was for a reason. We need those little reminders of why we have chosen to create boundaries with certain people.
I think having a sense of humor about things that at the time were in no way funny, is a step in the right direction to be sure.
Yes, boundaries, what a great word choice! I would like for him and I to be friends... for some reason I feel the need to make peace with it all and that seems like a reasonable way to do it. However, I think having "boundaries" is a key component to achieving this.
DeleteI love your tree. Trees symbolize so much for me. With or without leaves. We are strong Scorpio woman so it would take a fierce hurricane to pull our roots out from under us!
ReplyDeleteI like the way you get me!
DeleteI love fixing stuff myself, always makes me feel so über proud even if the fix is iffy at best.
ReplyDeleteAnd that tree is cool. They say you can do a lot of psychoanalysis based on things we draw. The tree may be surrounded in a grey dry land, but the tree appears very solid indeed... I'm sure you can fix anything that breaks if you just trust yourself, that and google to provide good solutions!
I love your use of uber, such a great word - and it's fun to say! Uuuber!!
DeleteI had no idea how much psychology and art were connected but I am learning there is a reason behind the way every artist creates and what they create. I think it's fascinating!
I love your artwork. I also love your appreciation of low expectations; setting the bar low for Minute Man and when he didn't show you weren't really let down you found humor instead. Let Shrek be your hero instead. He's worthy of it.
ReplyDeleteHow's this for humor: I may have set my expectations a little too low in this case. MM said he would come by the next day after his no show on Sunday and he didn't show then either. So when he said he would come on Tuesday morning I was all like whatever. I was caught a little off guard in my pajamas and slippers Tuesday morning when he actually DID show!! Meh. Whatever.
DeleteYour tree is wonderful! I love how you always manage to tie everything together :)
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteI'm glad to hear that you, like this tree, are firmly rooted.
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done some days, but my will is strong!
DeleteOr, Lil Dreamer, you could ask Dr Google and fix it yourself? Hello! I'm sure anyone as creative as you are doesn't need a guy to help her out, especially Second Man.
ReplyDeleteTouche!
DeleteAnd you know it!
DeleteGood post.
ReplyDeleteThis is a reminder that we shouldn't go to the dry well for water. Certainly you have other people in your life that can help you.
I don't want to see your heart disappointed by minute man anymore. I wish I could say abracadabra and he would disappear out of your life...
Can you find some sort of class, or church or gym that you can meet like minded people to engage in, and perhaps have a dinner party, or cocktail party and invite them to your home. Just a thought from Mama Lisa. I want the best for you.
You aren't alone. You have yourself, and a quite magnificent self that is!
It's funny you should say that! I actually was thinking about finding a church to attend. My sister once said something that I will always remember. When MM and I were going to therapy, she said we should go to church instead because it was all the therapy anybody would ever need. Huh, maybe she was on to something there?!
DeleteFirst of all, I LOVE the tree drawing. I don't know why but I have always thought winter trees with no leaves to be prettier than spring trees with green leaves abounding. I think trees have more character when they aren't covered in foliage. I like to think of the leaves as the tree's clothing and when it's a bare, winter tree it's like it's nude. The twisted branches are somehow beautiful.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I think it's best that MM didn't show. You are a strong, wonderful, intelligent, capable, beautiful woman and you certainly don't need him or anyone else "taking care of" your stuff around the house. I say Google what you need done and tackle that job yourself. That will show him who he's dealing with... a woman who is confident in herself!
The tree drawing is great..... nicely done! I cant draw at all.... seriously..... but I can DANCE!!!!
ReplyDeleteDANCING>>>> DANCING>>>>
Uh.... o.k. that got a little weird...... um....
Disregard!!
Sincerely,
Guy who dances for no good reason
Nice drawing, it has a real solid feel to it, interesting to know you drew it as a response to personal feelings.
ReplyDeleteI wonder who all these minute men and Shreks are?.
Where are you? You aren't blogging!
ReplyDeleteMiss you!