Sunday, April 22, 2012
My Date With A Married Man
I think maybe I should change my blog name from Reality Challenged to Just Plain Naïve. I cannot believe I actually thought last night’s “date” with a married man was strictly platonic. I agreed to be his plus one at a company party because his wife was unable to attend. This guy, let’s call him Depot, and I have known each other a long time and I honestly thought any attraction he may have had toward me decades ago was long forgotten
The night started out on a really good note. I got there and ordered a Shirley Temple, still honoring my resolution to distance myself from alcohol. Of course, when I did this, Depot’s head spun around so quickly I thought his neck might snap. I explained that I was trying to cut back on my alcohol in-take. His reaction to this news was somewhere between shock and dismay, so I made sure to order a second one just to drive the point home.
I struck up a very stimulating conversation with one of his co-workers about literature and the history of World War II, and soon we were fast friends. Within an hour, I had charmed everyone else at the table and I was feeling quite proud of myself.
As the night progressed, the restaurant began to get stuffy and Depot suggested we get some air. We took a short stroll around downtown and made polite conversation of our own. As we neared the restaurant he asked if being there with him made me feel uncomfortable.
“Why would I feel uncomfortable?” I asked. “You and I are just friends, and you’re married so I would never think of this as being anything other than strictly platonic.”
“You don’t know anything about my marriage, do you?” he replied coyly.
“I thought you were happily married and devoted to your wife and child,” I answered feeling the blood rise under my collar.
“It’s more like a business arrangement,” he told me. “I married her so she could get her green card.”
“Oh really?” I had to pause to collect myself. “Because I thought you told me that you loved her.”
“I do, but she doesn’t accept my other children and that was a deal breaker for me,” he answered.
“So why are you still married to her?”
“Her green card hasn’t been finalized yet,” he answered. “But we have an open marriage.”
“So you’re sleeping with other women?”
I might be naive, but I know bullshit when I hear it.
“Well, I’m not here to judge you but I just can’t understand that.”
“People do it all the time,” he replied.
“I know. I know all too well how often people do it and I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of infidelity. Call me old fashioned, but to me, marriage means something. I would never fool around with a married man because I know how hurt the person that is sitting at home with your child will be when she finds out you’re banging other women. I just could never be a part of something that cruel.”
“You’re right,” he said. “You don’t understand. In a couple of months, when her green card is secured, we’ll probably be divorced.”
Really? Is this what cheaters say to get laid?
“I think we should go inside now,” I said and turned on one heel.
Once inside, I put on my charming façade and bade all my new friends farewell and good night. Depot insisted on walking me to my car.
“I’m sorry I upset you,” he said.
“Like I said before, I’m not here to judge you but I don’t understand and I don’t agree with your views on marriage,” I answered. “So I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this subject.”
“Well if you ever change your mind and you need a pick-me-up, I’m just a phone call away,” he said as he closed my car door.
Really?? I watched him walk away and for a moment, just a moment, I wondered what it would feel like to run him over with my car.
Please, I really want to believe that all men are not cheating jerks, but last night really made me lose faith in fidelity and ever-lasting love.