I mistakenly thought we could be friends so that I would at least be able to maintain a connection with him and Girl Child. I know now that is never going to be possible. To be friends with somebody you must at least have a mutual respect and trust for one another. (Quiet! I can actually hear you snickering!)
I forgave Minute Man and no sooner did I do so, he hurt me again. I have to own up to my own responsibility in this though. In order to be hurt, you have to give somebody the power to hurt you. I've given Minute Man the power to hurt me over, and over, and over again, and each time, he abuses this power. At some point, I have got to stop handing him the knife to stick in my heart. Really, I get it now.
Anyways, if I'm being super brutally honest here, I'll confess maybe there was a teeny tiny part of me that didn't want to let go. Maybe there was some reality challenged little dreamer inside of me that thought one day he would change his ways and we could pick up where we left off. (Excuse me!! The belly rolling laughter from those rowdy people in the third row is very distracting! I'm trying to write a meaningful blog here... Now, if you don't mind?)
However, this final knife in my heart was the one that also brought with it the piercing light of reality. I thought about slinking away quietly into the night without a word to him. Then I thought better. I thought somebody needs to stick up for me and it had better be me. I finally told him I didn't want him in my life anymore, friend, foe or otherwise - along with some other choice words I will not repeat here, but I assure you I stayed true to my classy and dignified character.
I didn't realize at the time, this break would come with such a feeling of empowerment and freedom. Since then, I actually feel amazingly good!! I mean, really, really great! I know now, I will never trust him again with even a fraction of my heart.